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I think my testosterone level dropped just from having read that.
Close relationships between men have been around for all of history. This is not a new finding. Though most of the bonding was through combat and strife. Lincoln had a very close friend to confide in when he was very depressed. You can find many examples throughout history. And they mostly were platonic.
It’s interesting that men and women are different and yet the same metrics are used.
I’m male, I’m not going to whinge and complain to my friends. Women do that. On other hand if I ask my friends for help moving they will show up and work hard to help me. Most women wont, in my experience.
Women talk and men do. Different metric.
The rise of bromances seems to be correlated with the well-documented decline in testosterone levels since the 1970s. Maybe males are evolving into females.
Interesting article. I am 61 and have had lots of good male friends in my life. More exploration of male relationships with men would be a good thing. Just a couple of observances from my life:
1. The Christian church I was involved with did encourage men to be strong leaders in their communities, their marriages, at work, or wherever they were. We worshipped together and played sports together, had our families involved. Most had a fewer amount of very close friends and we could openly share about our struggles and successes, obviously we didn’t feel we were perfect and could correct each other. Again, more could be said, but I am doing this off the cuff.
2. As heterosexual, I think other men like me can be honest about things with each other we don’t want to tell woman. Even though I have had a long term, 39 year, marriage with my best friend, there are things she doesn’t understand, that I can convey to my male trusted friends.
3. Since we are not interested in sex with each other, we don’t have to protect feeling or issues which would interfere with our female partners. Sounds shallow, but I am just being honest.
4. Some men lean more on women, that is fine. I confess things to my wife, that I don’t want to share with men either. I think it’s good to have good relationships with both men and women. I also have many female friends, but they are more surfaced to protect my primary marriage relationship.
5. I am writing as a heterosexual, as I am sure other may have different perspectives.
Wow. Who would’ve known? I mean I’m 67 and still have a couple of childhood friends that I’ve been BSing with for close to sixty years… Guess I’d better call them up and break the news… “Dudes, I’m really sorry, but we’ve been ‘bromancing’ all these decades.” Why chick-ify everything? So, basically, any close friendship between guys is a ‘Bromance’? You just know a White Liberal College-Educated woman (you know the type) is behind the word and it’s concept. I’ve never heard any working class ladies use it. My wife thought it was hysterically funny…. “Bromance? Seriously? Geez, who comes up with this stuff?” Another passive-aggressive shot across the bow in the Culture War… I’m calling BS.
The title of the article(‘Young men engaging in close friendships, expressing feelings like never before’) would leave one to believe that a “Study” on the subject was accomplished, yet no where in the article does it reference such a study. This is simply the writers perception that “Bromances” are proliferating without proof. So I will say “‘Young men are not engaging in close friendships, and not expressing feelings like never before” ……fake news and disturbing fake news at that.
Im a 70 year old heterosexual male who does not look his age with who met a 56 year old heterosexual man and found out through our evenings together that he had been in a 27 year old marriage and his wife had never given him oral. I have a nice body and dont look my age at all and I train 3 days/ week. My friend is a good looking man with a great body. As we became closer , nights by the fire, red wine and beautiful Chris Botti jazz music I thougth this man and I have so much in common it felt like no male friendship I had ever had. I have been married twice, i have 5 children and 9 grandchildren. He has 2 sons and two grandchildren. Then one evening when he came over i could tell he was distraught over an arguement he had had with his wife. After a few hours of wine and music he decided to return home and as he left he looked at me and said ,”I Love You”. He caught me off guard and I said I Love you to. It really turned my world up side down. I knew I Loved my beautiful wife of 28 years and it scared the hell out of me i could have this feeling for a man. I had never touched a man before and still haven’t but we do love each other
and its awesome to have such a close friend you can tell anything to , listen to romantic music with and share life with. Its like no other relationship I’ve ever had . Then I was listening to the news about a new survey done on bromances and realized thats what we have. There is a lot more to tell but no sex will ever happen.
He is now trying to rekindle his marriage
and i hope they reconcile because i want him to be happy. He is committed and is one of the finest men i have ever know, he makes me want to be a better person.
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