Dark And Disturbing Thoughts Are Shockingly Common In New Parents

Survey: 77% Imagined Accidental Death Scenarios Involving Their Infants

The first year of parenthood is supposed to be filled with joy, bonding, and milestone moments. But for many new parents, it also comes with something far more unsettling: unwanted, intrusive thoughts that can include frightening images of harm to their infants.

A study published in the Community Mental Health Journal found that 96% of new parents experience at least one intrusive thought during the 12 months following their baby’s birth. Nearly 91% reported that these thoughts caused them distress. The most common intrusive thought, as noted by 93.4% of participants, was the fear that their baby might stop breathing. But the researchers also found that 46% of parents had thoughts about screaming at, shaking, or slapping their baby, and nearly 9% experienced thoughts about intentionally drowning their infant.

The findings come from a survey of 349 UK-based parents conducted by researchers at the University of East Anglia and Cambridgeshire and Peterborough NHS Foundation Trust. Lead researcher Dr. Jo Hodgekins and her colleagues wanted to explore not just how common these experiences are, but how distressing they feel to the parents who have them.

Intrusive Thoughts Are Not Intentions

Intrusive thoughts are unpleasant, unwanted mental images or ideas that pop into a person’s head without warning. They are not wishes or intentions, and having them does not mean a parent poses any risk to their child. Previous research has found no link between infant-related harm thoughts and an increased risk of actual harm.

Still, the experience can be profoundly upsetting. In this study, 94% of parents said these thoughts occurred every single day. Nearly 63% felt the thoughts interfered with their daily functioning, and only 13.5% felt they had complete control over them.

Ninety-five percent of parents engaged in at least one coping behavior, with reassurance-seeking being the most common at 95.4%. About 80% said they would feel distressed if unable to perform their coping strategies, and 54% felt these behaviors interfered with daily life.

The content of these thoughts ranged from fears about breathing and sudden infant death syndrome to darker territory. Eighty-two percent worried about dropping their baby, 77% imagined accidental death scenarios, and 73% had thoughts about choking. Roughly 9% reported thoughts about stabbing their baby, and about 10% had thoughts involving burning their child with hot water.

Strange or Unsettling Experiences Are Surprisingly Common

The researchers also examined psychotic-like experiences, which include unusual perceptions and paranoid thoughts at lower levels of intensity than would be seen in a clinical diagnosis. Eighty-nine percent of new parents reported at least one such experience in the year after birth, and nearly 89% found these experiences distressing.

The most commonly reported experiences were mood-related: 50% said they felt uninterested in things they used to enjoy, and 49% reported extreme anxiety when meeting new people. Other experiences included confusion about whether something was real or imagined, and thoughts that felt so strong parents could almost hear them. About 13% reported hearing things others could not, such as voices whispering or talking.

Roughly 30% of participants scored high enough on a screening measure to be considered at potential risk for developing psychosis. Parents in this group experienced more intrusive thoughts, more distress, lower confidence in their parenting abilities, and higher rates of depression and anxiety. Among those at potential risk, 86.8% scored in the clinical range for depression, 82.1% for anxiety, and 90.6% for stress.

Fathers Report More Distress Than Mothers

The research revealed something often overlooked in perinatal mental health: fathers appear to be struggling as well. Male parents reported more intrusive thoughts, more parenting stress, higher depression and anxiety scores, and lower perceived parenting competence than female parents.

Male parents were also more likely to fall into the potential-risk group for psychosis. These findings, though based on a smaller sample of 28 fathers, point to a gap in support systems that typically focus on mothers.

Depression and Anxiety May Play a Central Role

Parents who reported more intrusive thoughts and psychotic-like experiences also reported lower confidence in their parenting abilities and higher levels of parenting stress. But when researchers controlled for depression and anxiety, the direct relationship between these unusual mental experiences and parenting difficulties weakened.

This pattern indicates that intrusive thoughts and psychotic-like experiences may be connected to parenting struggles primarily through their association with depression and anxiety. Because this study used a cross-sectional design, it cannot establish which came first, but the findings suggest that treating underlying mood symptoms might help address multiple problems at once.

Parents who had experienced birth trauma or who had a history of mental health difficulties reported more frequent and distressing symptoms. Nearly half of the sample reported a history of mental health difficulties, and 25% were currently receiving or awaiting treatment.

Despite how common these experiences are, many parents may never mention them to healthcare providers or even their partners. Previous research has documented that mothers are often reluctant to disclose intrusive thoughts due to feelings of shame. The study authors note that perinatal OCD and postpartum psychosis carry the highest levels of stigma among perinatal mental health conditions.

The researchers argue that healthcare professionals should routinely screen for a broader range of mental health symptoms during the postpartum period. Midwives, health visitors, and general practitioners could benefit from training about intrusive thoughts and psychotic-like experiences, helping them identify parents who need support before symptoms get worse.

Increased public awareness could also make a difference. By demonstrating that intrusive thoughts and psychotic-like experiences are common after childbirth and do not necessarily indicate mental illness, parents may feel more comfortable seeking help. Dark thoughts and unusual perceptual experiences are part of the hidden reality of new parenthood for millions of people, and the first step toward helping them is acknowledging that these experiences exist.

Disclaimer: This article summarizes findings from a single peer-reviewed study and is intended for informational purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The study’s cross-sectional design cannot establish cause-and-effect relationships, and the self-selected sample may not be representative of all new parents. Readers with concerns about their mental health should consult a qualified healthcare provider.

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