(Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)
What To Know
- Perceiving yourself as the more powerful partner can increase attraction to alternatives, driven by a sense of higher “mate value.”
- Gender differences emerged: men’s fantasies were more affected by reminders of power, while women’s were not.
- Power dynamics influence extradyadic desires through subtle mechanisms, emphasizing the importance of balance in relationships.
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — We’ve all heard the saying that power corrupts, but could having the upper hand in your romantic relationship actually make you more likely to stray? A fascinating new study suggests that when people feel more powerful in their relationships, they’re more inclined to notice – and act on – attraction to others outside their partnership.
Researchers from Reichman University in Israel and the University of Rochester examined this dynamic through four carefully designed studies, investigating whether having more perceived power within a romantic relationship would activate desires for alternative partners. Participants were all in monogamous, heterosexual relationships lasting at least four months. The studies explored how perceived power influences romantic behavior through creative psychological tests.
Their findings suggest that feeling powerful doesn’t directly lead to extradyadic interest (attraction to people outside the relationship). Instead, it works through a more subtle mechanism: power makes people feel they have higher “mate value” than their partner, which in turn makes them more likely to pursue alternatives.
“Those with a higher sense of power may feel motivated to disregard their commitment to the relationship and act on desires for short-term flings or potentially other, more novel partners if the opportunity arises,” explains Harry Reis, a co-author of the study, in a university release.
The research team conducted their investigation using increasingly realistic scenarios. Their first study involved 128 Israeli undergraduate students in monogamous relationships. Participants were randomly assigned to either describe a time they held power over their partner (like deciding whose parents to visit for holidays) or to describe a typical day in their relationship. They were then asked to write about a risqué fantasy involving someone other than their current partner.
Interestingly, men who had been reminded of their relationship power expressed significantly more desire for alternative partners in their fantasies, while women’s fantasies weren’t significantly affected by the power manipulation.
Building on these findings, the second study with 133 participants used a different approach to measure interest in alternatives. After similar power-focused writing exercises, participants viewed photos of attractive strangers and had to quickly indicate whether they would consider each person as a potential partner. Those who had been primed to feel powerful showed greater interest in these alternative partners, regardless of gender.
The third study moved from hypothetical scenarios to real-world interactions. The researchers had 130 participants describe recent events reflecting power dynamics in their relationship, then interact face-to-face with an attractive research confederate (essentially a secretly hired study participant) while building a pyramid with plastic wine cups. Participants who reported feeling more powerful in their relationships rated higher levels of sexual desire for the confederate, but only if they also felt they had higher mate value than their current partner.
“In a romantic relationship, these power dynamics might lead the more powerful partner to think they bring more to the table than their less powerful partner,” says lead author Gurit Birnbaum.
The most compelling evidence came from the fourth study, which followed 123 heterosexual couples over three weeks. Both partners completed daily surveys about their perceived relationship power, their sense of relative mate value compared to their partner, and any engagement in extradyadic behavior (such as flirting with others). The results showed that on days when people felt more powerful in their relationships, they were more likely to see themselves as having higher mate value than their partner, which predicted greater likelihood of engaging in extradyadic behavior the following day.
Published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the study marks the first systematic investigation of how power within romantic relationships affects interest in alternative partners, according to researchers. Previous studies had shown that power in non-romantic contexts can make people more confident in their ability to attract partners, but this is the first evidence that relationship power specifically can influence extradyadic desires and behaviors.
It turns out the old saying “power corrupts” might need updating when it comes to relationships. Perhaps a more accurate version would be “power changes self-perception” – and those changes can have meaningful consequences for romantic commitment.
Paper Summary
Methodology
The researchers conducted four studies to explore how perceived power within romantic relationships affects extradyadic desires (interest in people outside the relationship). In the first two studies, participants were asked to either recall and describe a moment of power in their relationship or a neutral event. They then engaged in tasks like writing a sexual fantasy or evaluating photos of strangers under time pressure. The researchers measured their expressed interest in alternative partners.
In the third study, participants were observed interacting with an attractive stranger and rated their attraction to this person. In the final study, couples recorded daily diary entries over three weeks, noting their sense of power, mate value (how desirable they believed they were compared to their partner), and any interactions or fantasies about people outside the relationship. The studies used surveys, controlled tasks, and real-life experiences to uncover trends.
Key Results
The studies showed that people who feel more powerful in their romantic relationships tend to believe they are more attractive or valuable than their partner. This perception often led to increased interest in other people outside their relationship. Men showed a stronger reaction in some cases, but the pattern was noticeable across genders. In the final study, couples recorded daily changes, and when one partner felt more powerful, they were likelier to fantasize or engage with others.
Study Limitations
The focus was on temporary feelings of power, not ongoing power dynamics within relationships. Most participants were from Western cultures, where equality in relationships is emphasized. This might not apply universally. Many parts relied on participants’ honesty, which could be influenced by embarrassment or social norms. The tasks (like rating photos) may not fully represent real-life behaviors.
Discussion & Takeaways
Power in relationships can boost a person’s confidence, making them feel more desirable to others. While this can be positive, the studies found it often led to desires for people outside the relationship. This dynamic could harm relationships, especially if one partner consistently feels more attractive or valuable than the other. Balancing power and maintaining commitment appears critical for healthy partnerships.
Funding & Disclosures
The research was supported by the Israel Science Foundation and the Binational Science Foundation. The study authors declared that they have no conflicts of interest with respect to their authorship or the publication of the research.
