Turns Out, Women Like To Date Younger Just as Much As Men

DAVIS, Calif. — When people shop for a new partner, many have age in mind. There’s the stereotype that men want younger women, and women want older men. New research tracking thousands of real first dates found that women prefer younger men just as much as men prefer younger women. The catch? Most women don’t even know this about themselves.

The massive study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), tracked over 6,000 people on more than 4,500 blind dates. Researchers from UC Davis and other universities found that when it comes to actual romantic attraction, not just what people claim they want, both men and women are equally drawn to younger partners.

The research team noted that this preference for youth among women was particularly surprising since, in most mixed-gender couples, men tend to be older than women, and women typically say they prefer older partners. The findings suggest there may be a significant gap between what women think they want and what actually sparks their interest on a first date.

If women are naturally drawn to younger men just as much as men are drawn to younger women, why do we see the opposite pattern in long-term relationships?

Scientists partnered with Tawkify, a matchmaking service that specializes in setting up blind dates for people seeking long-term relationships. Between October 2023 and January 2024, they tracked 6,262 participants who went on dates arranged by professional matchmakers. These weren’t college students looking for casual hookups; the average age was nearly 47, and participants were explicitly seeking serious, long-term partners.

In true blind date fashion, participants knew almost nothing about their dates beforehand. They received only basic information like approximate age (“early 40s”), whether the person had children, and a few interests. No photos, no detailed profiles, no chance to pre-select based on age preferences.

After each date, both people filled out detailed questionnaires rating their attraction to their partner, giving an overall experience rating, and deciding whether they wanted a second date.

Data revealed a pattern that contradicts decades of dating wisdom. Both men and women were consistently more attracted to younger partners, and the effect was virtually identical between genders. This preference was modest but clear across all measures.

Participants’ stated age preferences, the maximum age they said they’d consider dating, had no impact on their actual attraction. About 15% of dates involved partners who exceeded the participant’s stated age limit, but it didn’t matter. People still showed the same slight preference for youth regardless of whether their date fell above or below their personal cutoff.

Researchers tested this pattern in multiple ways to ensure accuracy. They analyzed the data separately for men and women, looked only at mixed-gender dates, and even focused specifically on women 40 and under. Results held steady: women were just as attracted to younger partners as men were.

For years, evolutionary psychologists have argued that men prefer younger women for reproductive reasons, while women prefer older men for resources and stability. This study suggests the youth preference might apply to everyone.

If what people say they want doesn’t predict actual attraction, maybe we’re approaching online dating all wrong. Even when professional matchmakers set people up with dates who exceeded their stated age limits, it had no effect on romantic interest.

Why Long-Term Relationships Still Follow Traditional Age Patterns

If both men and women prefer younger partners, why do most long-term couples feature older men and younger women?

First, initial attraction might not translate to long-term compatibility. Women might be drawn to younger men on first dates, but practical considerations could kick in later.

Another possibility involves the dating pool itself. Scientists found that matchmakers tended to pair women with men who were about 3.5 years older on average, exactly the age gap that appeared in couples who mutually agreed to second dates. This suggests the age difference in relationships might be built into the system from the start, not driven by women’s preferences.

Researchers also noted that adolescent girls typically go through puberty one to two years earlier than boys, potentially creating early dating patterns where girls become accustomed to slightly older partners simply because their same-age peers aren’t ready to date yet.

Age in Modern Dating

Combined with similar results from a previous speed-dating study of over 10,000 people, the evidence suggests our understanding of gender differences in attraction has been incomplete.

Today, this research could be reassuring or confusing to those on the front lines of modern dating. It suggests that women’s attraction patterns might be more similar to men’s than anyone realized, but it also highlights how little we understand about the gap between initial chemistry and lasting relationships.

The study authors acknowledge that their findings might not apply universally. Their participants were relatively affluent and willing to trust professional matchmakers, perhaps making them more open to unconventional pairings. Still, the consistency of results across multiple measures and demographic subgroups suggests this isn’t just a fluke.

Today’s dating apps are guided by age filters and stated preferences, but this study suggests we might be looking in all the wrong places. The person who sparks your interest might be nothing like the partner you think you want.