COLUMBIA, Mo. — Perhaps love and marriage don’t go together like a horse and carriage after all. A new study finds that older Americans looking for love are latching onto a new trend that tempers the demands of a committed relationship, a phenomenon known as “Living Apart Together,” or “LAT.”
Spurred by a divorce rate that has doubled among this demographic since 1990, many older singles — often divorced or widowed — have taken on “an intimate relationship without a shared residence.” New research was conducted upon the increasingly popular relationship arrangement among those 50 years of age or older.
According to Jacquelyn Benson, a researcher at the University of Missouri who is entrenched in the topic, LAT has long been an established phenomenon in Europe. Only in recent years is the trend reaching the United States en masse.
“What has long been understood about late-in-life relationships is largely based on long-term marriage,” Benson explains in a release. With marriage rates amongst older Americans declining, she argues that “if more people— young and old, married or not— saw LAT as an option, it might save them from a lot of future heartache.”
LAT couples want independence, but should still discuss end-of-life care
For their study, Benson and another researcher interviewed adults who were at least 60 years of age and in committed relationships, yet didn’t live together. From their interactions with this demographic, the two researchers found that there were a number of motivating factors for a LAT-type relationship.
A major theme seemed to be independence— older couples wanted their family and finances to remain separate from their partner. A stigma revolving around living together and not being wed at an older age also played a factor; many expressed that describing their partner as a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” would feel awkward.
Benson, who is continuing her research, points out how she hopes to help discover and resolve issues pertaining to LAT arrangements and late life imperatives, such as end-of-life planning and caregiving.
“Discussions about end-of-life planning and caregiving can be sensitive to talk about; however, LAT couples should make it a priority to have these conversations both as a couple and with their families,” she says. “Many of us wait until a crisis to address those issues, but in situations like LAT where there are no socially prescribed norms dictating behavior these conversations may be more important than ever.”
The study is published in the journal Family Relations.
Just more liberal bull-sh!t. Hey little Timmy this is my new fu k buddy sue, Sue I would like you to meet my grand-son Timmy. Timmy this little b!tch can bang like a million dollar’s in bed.
I read a lot of the comments before commenting myself. I’m going to assume most of the men who married, married American women. That was your first mistake. Luckily, I realized early on that marrying American (for the most part) women is a losers game. American women are a confused lot. They seem not to know what they want or when they want it. I stopped dating American women (But still had sex with them) in my early 30’s.
Then the first wave of South American women started coming to the United States in 2000 after their economy went south after Argentina defaulted on their bonds. That’s when I met my first Brazilian woman! What a revelation! What joy! Sexy, sensual and very sexual, these Brazilian women. Very family oriented, hard working and they understand their sexuality far better than the confused American Harridans. After 10 years of marriage and 3 kids, my wife and I still can’t keep our hands off each other. Our love still grows, our friendship continues to blossom and she and I love the life we’ve created together.
Word to the wise. Stay away from American women. Most are not worth the trouble that you are bound to get from them.
Just a reminder: Make sure to advise your male children to always, always, always do a prenuptial agreement that prevent the unbalanced divorce standards in the US. Sad to say, for far too many these days, it clearly isn’t “till death do we part,” or anything even close. But the laws and practices in place are unfair to men — often ruining them financially — even when they are in no way responsible for the dissolution. This situation is so bad that some ministers are now refusing to marry their church members without a prenupt. Remember, if it really is “till death do we part,” then there should be not objection whatsoever to a prenuptial agreement.
Agree 100%…..I’d like to see states require a pre-nup before issuing a marriage license.
So the message here isn’t stay with the person you made a solemn vow to but to hook up with someone else as reprobate as yourself. Don’t trust the other person enough to live with them but whenever you desire a booty call they are at your service. Could someone please point me in the direction of an article that isn’t written by a Jew. Christian values and views are no longer the norm in America. Our Zeitgeist is Judaized.
I would like to sometimes, my wife snores.
Since the Supreme Court ruling that effectively changed & cheapened the meaning of marriage to benefit sodomy by changing the definition held since God created marriage for Adam & Eve many and especially older Americans don’t see the point in getting married. I know I don’t and wouldn’t if I was a younger man. With that ruling I have come to believe government has no place in marriage. If a couple wants legal status then let them register their relationship in a county clerk’s office. Other than that the government needs to butt out! Marriage may be a right but first and foremost it is a rite.
The Supreme Court was comprised of 4 Jews and 4 Catholics until the appointment of Gorsuch which it appears is also a Catholic. Jews comprise a mere 1.9% of U.S. population according to Wikipedia. Protestants comprise 47.9% of U.S. population and yet there is not one Protestant on the Supreme Court. One must be incredibly gullible or hopelessly stupid to not see it as a conspiracy. Sotomayor is not a Catholic but closely identifies with Judaism according to the Messianic Jew Brother Nathanael Kapner.
I didn’t realize there was a religious test for the Supreme Court and there shouldn’t be. I want patriotic Americans on the Court whose only concern when making rulings is our Constitution. Not social justice, not pop culture, not international law, nothing else except the wording in our Constitution and it’s Amendments. I don’t care their religious faith or even lack there of. I know atheists who respect others’ religious beliefs because they respect the Constitution.
Well isn’t that just peachy. Could you be any more gullible? Your education and historical perspective is entirely deficient.
39). “Use the courts, use the judges, use the constitution
of the country, use its medical societies and its laws to
further our ends. Do not stint in your labor in this direction.
And when you have succeeded you will discover that you can now
effect your own legislation at will and you can, by careful
organization, by constant campaigns about the terrors of
society, by pretense as to your effectiveness, make the
capitalist himself, by his own appropriation, finance a large
portion of the quiet Communist conquest of that nation.”
(Address of the Jew Laventria Beria, The Communist Textbook on
Psychopolitics, page 8).
The point of a marriage now seems to be for the government to legitimize your relationship and give you SS benefits. If you’re not so self-conscious of your relationship (and not religious), then I can see the logic of what’s the point.
Au contraire, if you are religious you would want a church wedding which still possible. Most clergy would be more than happy to “bless” your relationship even if they cannot “legally” call it a marriage which just means your relationship is strong, you want to be married in the eyes of God and you don’t believe a piece of paper enhances that relationship so you don’t believe government intrusion is necessary. I did that with my current wife after my first wife died. Marriage is important to us but we neither need nor want government intrusion regarding our relationship or respective estates. We have it covered without them.
This used to be called ‘dating’
Exactly
Has more to do with SSI.or other benefits
The best way for most people to be married is to buy separate houses and visit each other on occasion. Katherine Hepburn suggested they be next door to one another. I find that different states in the same region works better.
Of course Katherine, who I admired, knew very little about marriage. She had this same sort of LAP arrangement for decades with someone else’s husband.
I work with a lot of registered nurses, mostly women, when a divorce occurs these women get hammered. The ex spouses of RNs generally become much more wealthy and independent. Men and women are not so differenct when it comes to money.
Ha ha you mean bitter people who don’t easily attract? Ok I get that.
I completely understand this. Who wants to share a living space with someone? Not me!
It is better to live in a desert land
Than with a contentious and vexing woman.
– Proverbs 21:19
A constant dripping on a day of steady rain
And a contentious woman are alike;
He who would restrain her restrains the wind,
And grasps oil with his right hand.
– Proverbs 27:15-16
Living Apart Together; I believe the formal term is: FORNICATING. No slut like an old slut.
Please don’t expect us to go everywhere together, all the time. We both require space to experience our individual differences and recreation choices. That is essential. Not never the twain shall meet, but always remaining connected by what shared interest we have and respect for each others needs and expectations.
After 48 years, the balance has been weighed. Some days up, some days down, but never out of balance everyday.
I am a widow and I will never and I mean never get married again! I love living alone now. No arguments about who takes out the garbage, etc. and if I feel like socializing I get on my computer and look up something to do with other people on Meet-up!
My wife and I own a farm. She lives in one house and I live in another about 8 acres apart. A forest separates us.
We like our space. We have separate bank accounts but will and do help one another out when the need arises.
I am 72 and she is 63. Been together about 20yrs.
Hey it works very well for us.
In other words, you’re more interested in yourself than you are your spouse. That says a lot about the quality of your love, doesn’t it?
Jimmy,
It sounds as if you have a problem living with yourself. Is that true?
I can live with myself and still love my wife.
1960’s FREAKS. The entire generation was corrupt and vile.
I am LAT by myself. I keep two apartments and move back and forth from one to the other. In the first, I am a male demi-god and in the second, I am a female Aphrodite! This relationship of mine is so exhiliarating, I wish everyone would get divorced and try it!