NEW YORK — The average American may have a pretty active love life — but that doesn’t mean this story has a happy ending. A survey of 2,000 sexually active adults explored what goes on behind closed doors and found that 20 percent say their favorite part of sex is intercourse. On the other hand, 30 percent of respondents prefer foreplay.
Interestingly, respondents say intercourse is the least likely thing to happen in a sexual encounter (53%), surpassed by kissing (72%), foreplay (71%), and cuddling (61%). On average, Americans spend 11 minutes kissing before sex, 18 minutes doing the deed, and 15 minutes cuddling after.
However, many are left wanting more. Conducted by OnePoll for LELO, the survey finds that although the average American has sex four times a week, 61 percent wish their sex life was even better. A majority of respondents who are in serious relationships share the same desire (62%).
One in seven find themselves “always” wishing that sex lasted longer. More than half of women shared they could do with more kissing (54%), while 56 percent of men wish that sex itself lasted longer. In fact, half of Americans in serious relationships admit to thinking about someone besides their partner during sex (49%), according to the poll.
According to Americans, the best sex happens in the morning (30%), while smaller percentages of respondents prefer the afternoon (23%) or evening (21%). More respondents have a preference for spontaneous sex (33%), while a quarter prefer to pre-plan for a smoother experience (24%).
When in the bedroom, 50 percent of sexually active Americans claim that they prioritize pleasing their partner. Just 34 percent admit they’re more of a “receiver,” the partner who prioritizes their pleasure. Men are more likely to say they’re “givers” (60%), while women are more likely to be “receivers” (39%).
Thirty percent of those in a committed relationship say their partner is more sexually needy than they are, and just 16 percent admit the opposite to be true. In fact, 61 percent of these respondents said they sometimes have sex because their partner wants to, even if they’re not in the mood — especially men (71%), compared to 53 percent of women.
“Within the context of pleasure, achieving a satisfying experience requires a reasonable balance,” says the chief marketing officer at LELO, Luka Matutinovic, in a statement. “A solid framework for a truly fulfilling encounter is formed by thoroughly examining one’s desires and the preferences of one’s partner. Effective, open discussion and cultivating empathy serve as entry points for creating a good relationship and increasing empathy.”
A majority of those surveyed feel confident that they can tell if their partner is having a good time during sex (73%). Yet, just 18 percent of Americans “always” orgasm when having sex, with one in eight saying they “rarely” or “never” do. Men are more likely to “always” orgasm (21%) compared to 15 percent of women.
To help them get there, 40 percent have used sex toys in the bedroom, and 50 percent have a sexual desire they’ve never explored that they’re interested in sharing with a partner soon.
“Intimacy is an evolving experience that benefits from adaptability and innovation,” adds Matutinovic. “Integrating thoughtfully selected pleasure products into the intimate dynamic of a relationship can offer a substantial advantage. The introduction of sex toys in the bedroom introduces an element of novelty and variety, vital for sustaining long-term connections.”
This random double-opt-in survey of 2,000 sexually active Americans was commissioned by LELO between August 14 and August 18, 2023. It was conducted by market research company OnePoll, whose team members are members of the Market Research Society and have corporate membership to the American Association for Public Opinion Research (AAPOR) and the European Society for Opinion and Marketing Research (ESOMAR).